Shakespeare wrote that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." We've all read it and understood what he meant. However, I wonder if the same rings true for things that don't smell so good...
I feel as though I'd being doing myself and anyone who dare read this blog a disservice if I didn't address the issue of baby...excrement. I'm going to be as civil as possible when writing about this, but in full disclosure, this may be the most excited I've ever been about a blog post.
In my attempt to not completely disgust you, I will challenge Shakespeare's claim by refering to Cassie's "diaper deposits" as "flowers." Hopefully this will curb the reality that are her "brown bombs."
One of the things I love most about being a parent is how quickly your conversations with your spouse change. What once were discussions of dreams and the future, favorite restaurants and movies, and love for one another, now have turned to "Babe, you wouldn't BELIEVE the flower that Cassie just had. It.Was.Disgusting" It's hilarious. I'm convinced if you don't have a sense of humor about it you'll never make it. Luckily, unbeknownst to her, I trained Jesse in the eloquent humor of this ever so fine subject during the first 4 years of our marriage.
There are times in your life where you can look back and see God's direct hand on you, guiding and preparing you for future things that you wouldn't have been prepared for otherwise. I had such a moment on the day Cassie was born. We were in our hospital room, Jesse was resting in bed and it was time for Cassie's first real diaper change. This was it...my opportunity to set the future course of my fatherhood in motion. I was determined to be a dad that helped with the grose stuff. I wasn't going to hand Cassie off every time a flower bloomed. And here was my chance to put my money where my mouth was. Because no one told me, I had no idea that a baby's first flower was so absolutely disgusting. I'll spare you most of the details but it was the Mount Everest of flowers. After twelve dirty wet wipes, flower getting on me, on Cassie's foot, on her bedding, and Lord knows where else, the deed was done. I had done it. And no flower has been even close to as bad. God told me that day that I could handle anything.
Last week, Jesse and I were at work and Cassie was being watched by our nanny who is also one of our best friends. There was much trepidation that day not because work was going to be difficult, or because we hadn't gotten much sleep the night before (which was true), or even because we just missed Cassie so terribly. We were nervous about the day because Cassie hadn't flowered in over a day. Simply put: Cassie was constipated. And it was freaking Jesse and me out. So much so that I found myself telling people throughout the day. "How are you doing, James?" "I'd be a lot better if Cassie would flower." What was happening to me? Why was this all I was thinking about? Work was usually my respite from this sort of thing. But during Cassie's state of constipation, it wasn't just all I could talk about rather all I wanted to talk about. When I finally got the text message that Cassie had flowered and all was healthy, I breathed a huge sigh of relief (and then proceeded to tell everyone in the office).
Whether we are eating dinner, winding up our day with a favorite TV show, Jesse and I both find ourselves giving each other the play by play of the bad diaper change of the day. Our rule is, if you're holding Cassie when she drops a heat bomb, it is then your responsibility to change her. So holding her is a bit of a game of hot potato...sometimes literally.
Let me preface this last story by saying when I change her diapers, I always feel like I am playing a sort of "beat the clock" with Cassie. I always knew that one day...sooner or later...I was going to be switching out diapers, Cassie would wink at me, and then proceed to flower all over the place. That fear came true the other day. I had my first "come to Jesus" moment with being a father. I had Cassie on the changing table, thinking she was done flowering and thus ready for a change. The dirty diaper had been removed and the cleaning up had begun. As I was cleaning her, Cassie released some odor that suggested that her business was not quite finished. Seconds later, the large flower she layed confirmed my greatest fear. I'll again spare you the details, but I'm proud to say I handled the situation. Probably not with the grace that her mother would have, but it was handled. Her onesy was ruined, the changing tablecloth was stained, and Cassie may or may not have been held upside down at one point or another, but at least the situation was handled.
When you become a parent, you quickly realize that this IS parenting. It's going on dates and talking about your child/children the entire time. It's merely shrugging your shoulders when you get flower on you. It's thoroughly studying the real-life brochure the hospital gives you about baby bowel movements and comparing the REAL pictures to what your baby is producing (yes, that happened with us). It's all these things and much much more. And it's especially realizing all these things and never wanting to go back to how things were before. If changing some dirty diapers means I get to spend the rest of my day bragging about my daughter and trying to make her smile, even if only for a second, then call me a gardener and point me to the flowers.
*Side note: you'll notice I spared you any pictures for this blog. If you're a parent, you already know. If you're not...pictures would just scare you away...
Monday, January 21, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
She Be Trippin'
In April of 2011, Jesse and I went to Breckenridge, CO for a week of snowboarding and food. We had a blast. We took a week's worth of winter clothes, our snowboards, and all of our snowboard gear. It was a lot...a whole lot. The walk from the curbside at the airport to the airline check-in counter felt like a mile. My arms felt like they were going to rip out of their sockets. But it was all stuff we needed to bring. After all, it was a week in the snow with all of our gear. That stuff adds up. That was our last REAL vacation. Sure, we've had weekend getaways and trips to our family's river cabin. But Breckenridge was a legit vacation. 
Last week Jesse and I decided to go to St. Augustine (about a 40 minute drive from our home) for 2 nights. We have friends who have a camper there and were more than kind enough to let us stay there. Our agenda was eating and relaxing. That was it. The weather forecast was very favorable so packing was going to be a cinch. We were going to go to dinner for Jesse's birthday the first night, hang out the second day and go to dinner again that night, and come back the next morning. Simple. The one catch was this: Cassie was going. We were excited about our first trip as a family. But I'll admit I was a bit nervous too. I was getting off work at noon on the day we were leaving so I thought we'd be on the road no later than 1pm. When I got home, I began to pack what I thought would be a small bag with just a few things. But as I began to think about it, Cassie spits up on me at least once a day,(it's a special talent of hers) on my shirt and pants. So that turned 2 packed shirts into 6. And maybe, while on the trip, she would spit up on my jacket, so I'd need to bring a couple of those too. Fifteen minutes later, I looked like I was going to Breckenridge all over again. Jesse was the same. Then there was Cassie's luggage. Her clothes were just like ours. But Cassie doesn't just NEED clothes when going out of town. What first was packed was her stroller, then her pack-n-play, and let's not forget her swing. Our little Cassie needs her swing. Actually, Jesse and I need her swing. It's Cassie's natural sedative. Then there were her bottles, burp cloths, diapers, wet wipes, and EEEEEVVVVVVEEEERRRRYYYYTTTTTHHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG else.
So an hour and a half later, when it was all said and done, the back of our SUV was filled to the brim. But we were on our way and we were excited. By the time we got to the camper all Jesse and I wanted to do was nap, but Cassie had other intentions. She was far too jazzed for her first trip to sleep right off the bat. So we unpacked and hung out. The excitement was palpable.
We went to dinner the first night and Cassie was great. She never fussed once. We celebrated Jesse's birthday for the first time as a family and we loved every minute of it.
Later that night we were able to put Cassie to bed at her normal hour, but, being that it wasn't her "normal" environment, her wake up time came early and she wasn't so quick to go back to bed. In short, it was a long night. The next morning we ate breakfast and literally stared out the window for a good hour. It was 11am before we started on our day. Throughout the day I was thinking that it would be better if we cut our trip short. "We should go back home tonight" I thought. Why stay the second night only to go home the following morning? Why not just have dinner in St. Augustine and head home afterwards? It made sense. I proposed the idea to Jesse by convincing her that Cassie would sleep better, and in turn we would too, if she was bsck home. To my relief, Jesse agreed. We were going to go to a fun restaurant of our choosing in St. Aug and casually make our way back home. No fuss, no muss.
After a day of shopping and eating we were exhausted. We headed back to the camper and in my exhaustion, I began re-packing everything. And it wasn't just our stuff that I had to pack up, I had to clean up the camper too. It ended up taking longer than I thought and as fate would have it, as soon as everything was good to go, Cassie got hungry. So once she was fed and changed, Jesse and I were more tired than when we first got back. As we sat in exhausted silence we began to talk about what restaurant we wanted to go to. At this point hunger had been far surpassed by fatigue. Food was a luxury that I would easily trade for rest. Although ever restaurant was one we would typically like, nothing sounded good. We went from eating at an authentic St. Augustine restaurant, to a chain restaurant that we could get in and out of rather quickly, to what we finally decided on: coming into town we saw a Wendy's on the main road. We could eat and be back on the road in no more than 15 minutes and it was exactly on the way home. So that's what we did. We finished off our first trip with our daughter with one of the most depressing dinners we've ever had.
Now that we've had time to reflect on the trip, we truly did have a great time. I'd have to say it was more of a learning experience than anything else though. What I love though is that it doesn't matter where we go for trips now because it's all new to us. A simple lunch at a food court is excited because it's with our daughter. A camper is like a luxurious penthouse suite because we are vacationing as a family. I can't wait to see what our next trip is like. I just hope I don't have to pull a trailer to haul all of our luggage.
Oh, and here's Jesse home after our trip, finally getting that much needed rest:
Last week Jesse and I decided to go to St. Augustine (about a 40 minute drive from our home) for 2 nights. We have friends who have a camper there and were more than kind enough to let us stay there. Our agenda was eating and relaxing. That was it. The weather forecast was very favorable so packing was going to be a cinch. We were going to go to dinner for Jesse's birthday the first night, hang out the second day and go to dinner again that night, and come back the next morning. Simple. The one catch was this: Cassie was going. We were excited about our first trip as a family. But I'll admit I was a bit nervous too. I was getting off work at noon on the day we were leaving so I thought we'd be on the road no later than 1pm. When I got home, I began to pack what I thought would be a small bag with just a few things. But as I began to think about it, Cassie spits up on me at least once a day,(it's a special talent of hers) on my shirt and pants. So that turned 2 packed shirts into 6. And maybe, while on the trip, she would spit up on my jacket, so I'd need to bring a couple of those too. Fifteen minutes later, I looked like I was going to Breckenridge all over again. Jesse was the same. Then there was Cassie's luggage. Her clothes were just like ours. But Cassie doesn't just NEED clothes when going out of town. What first was packed was her stroller, then her pack-n-play, and let's not forget her swing. Our little Cassie needs her swing. Actually, Jesse and I need her swing. It's Cassie's natural sedative. Then there were her bottles, burp cloths, diapers, wet wipes, and EEEEEVVVVVVEEEERRRRYYYYTTTTTHHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG else.
So an hour and a half later, when it was all said and done, the back of our SUV was filled to the brim. But we were on our way and we were excited. By the time we got to the camper all Jesse and I wanted to do was nap, but Cassie had other intentions. She was far too jazzed for her first trip to sleep right off the bat. So we unpacked and hung out. The excitement was palpable.
We went to dinner the first night and Cassie was great. She never fussed once. We celebrated Jesse's birthday for the first time as a family and we loved every minute of it.
Later that night we were able to put Cassie to bed at her normal hour, but, being that it wasn't her "normal" environment, her wake up time came early and she wasn't so quick to go back to bed. In short, it was a long night. The next morning we ate breakfast and literally stared out the window for a good hour. It was 11am before we started on our day. Throughout the day I was thinking that it would be better if we cut our trip short. "We should go back home tonight" I thought. Why stay the second night only to go home the following morning? Why not just have dinner in St. Augustine and head home afterwards? It made sense. I proposed the idea to Jesse by convincing her that Cassie would sleep better, and in turn we would too, if she was bsck home. To my relief, Jesse agreed. We were going to go to a fun restaurant of our choosing in St. Aug and casually make our way back home. No fuss, no muss.
After a day of shopping and eating we were exhausted. We headed back to the camper and in my exhaustion, I began re-packing everything. And it wasn't just our stuff that I had to pack up, I had to clean up the camper too. It ended up taking longer than I thought and as fate would have it, as soon as everything was good to go, Cassie got hungry. So once she was fed and changed, Jesse and I were more tired than when we first got back. As we sat in exhausted silence we began to talk about what restaurant we wanted to go to. At this point hunger had been far surpassed by fatigue. Food was a luxury that I would easily trade for rest. Although ever restaurant was one we would typically like, nothing sounded good. We went from eating at an authentic St. Augustine restaurant, to a chain restaurant that we could get in and out of rather quickly, to what we finally decided on: coming into town we saw a Wendy's on the main road. We could eat and be back on the road in no more than 15 minutes and it was exactly on the way home. So that's what we did. We finished off our first trip with our daughter with one of the most depressing dinners we've ever had.
Now that we've had time to reflect on the trip, we truly did have a great time. I'd have to say it was more of a learning experience than anything else though. What I love though is that it doesn't matter where we go for trips now because it's all new to us. A simple lunch at a food court is excited because it's with our daughter. A camper is like a luxurious penthouse suite because we are vacationing as a family. I can't wait to see what our next trip is like. I just hope I don't have to pull a trailer to haul all of our luggage.
Oh, and here's Jesse home after our trip, finally getting that much needed rest:
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